But.

The Bible doesn’t deny anger. But. Losing your right shouldn’t throw you into a rage. A driver once hit my car in Lagos. I parked to assess the extent of damage to my car. The driver also parked. He came down from his car and walked calmly towards me and gave me a seven star hot slap. A slap for hitting my car? What can I do? The shame, the pains, the humiliations escalated my anger further.

I remember an issue a man brought to me for counselling. He caught his Christian wife in bed with another man in his matrimonial home. He confronted both the wife and the cheat. The man ended thoroughly beating  and injuring him. When he reported the case at the Police Station, the lady officer at the counter told him point blank, he should have controlled his emotions. This is the truth. He not only lost his wife to the man she was cheating with, he could have lost his life too.

 Jesus wept. There are about 218 synonyms for the word ‘anger’.  Only a few words for peace and calmness. More men get angry daily for many reasons. Many men experience spectrum of anger more often than they admit. Every day. Every relationship. There is a pressure point for one man. Something, someone somewhere is ready to trigger a man’s anger. The truth is whether you like it or not, anger looms in a corner.

A man doesn’t choose if he’ll get angry. He chooses what anger will make of him. Anger is an energy. It is a nuclear power. Handled it well, it lights up cities. Handled poorly, it levels relationships. The Bible doesn’t deny angry men. Moses struck the rock in anger and forfeited the Promised Land. Samson, enraged by betrayal, killed himself and his traducers. Saul, in furious rage targeted David with spears and lost his throne. Each one, a man with a divine assignment, taken off course by un-mastered anger. Anger is a holy fuel or hell’s fire. It depends on who’s holding the match. The man who cannot use his anger for positive change will have his anger use him for negative things. Anger is either your loss or your legacy.

However, hidden anger is dangerous because it’s disguised. The pressure cooker, it builds… until it bursts. The danger isn’t in getting angry. The danger is sleeping with it. Every night a man sleeps angry, he builds a bridge for bitterness. Every day he carries unresolved fury, he carves a path for destruction.

Anger must be processed, not buried. Redirected, not ignored. “Be angry, but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” (Ephesians 4:26, ESV). Never be imprisoned by any emotion that can trap your destiny. Sir, your anger is telling you something. It’s revealing where something you value feels violated. Instead of denying it, ask yourself questions. Why am I really angry? Ask yourself, do I need healing, boundaries, or confrontation?

And he came to his senses.
Unprocessed anger becomes unintentional self-sabotage. You’ll sabotage intimacy. Trust. Leadership. Peace. Relationships. Self-control is the hall mark of real men. The enemy wants you to use your anger destructively. God wants you to use it redemptively. This is what Jesus did. Will you weaponize your anger or redeem it? At The Catalyst Men Network, we help men like you redeem your rage to positive energy which can birth purpose in you.  Don’t let anger become a generational pattern. You don’t have to live reactive, defensive, or withdrawn. You were more than your anger.

Master your emotion or your emotion will become your master.

The problem is not just that your wife got you angry or your son stole but you never map your emotional response. Truth is if you don’t master your anger, your anger will mill you. If you have anger problem, acknowledge it. Come to us. Reach out. Let’s equip you not to explode, implode, or withdraw but become a man driven by purpose not by frustration.

Your anger isn’t the end. It’s the beginning of something God wants you to redeem. We can walk shoulder to shoulder on this. Trust me, in my over a decade of being in men’s ministry, I have seen men redirect their anger into purpose-driven leadership.

Be angry but sin not.

Let your anger be a weapon of change and an agent of transformation or am I asking for too much? Shakes or nods, anger controls, control anger.

Dayo Adeyemi can be reached on mike@catalystmen.org